The Crazier Side of Seoul

Later that week I managed to end up in Itaewon, the foreigner district, twice despite never having visited at all prior to that. It became a running joke among the teachers that I was always in Itaewon, a joke that gained in popularity and hilarity after one teacher pointed out that Itaewon is also the red-light district of Seoul.

To be frank, Itaewon didn't impress me much and those two visits are the only visits I plan to make there. I had expected it to be a modern district full of American chains and goods, but found it was actually an older, run-down area with an eclectic mix of decent but expensive restaurants and bars.

The first time I went was on a Tuesday afternoon to visit a travel agent. Her office was two blocks from the subway station, with the first block feeling like China and the second block reminiscent of Wickenden St. in Providence. After meeting with the agent, I met up with Jihoon and Gina, who had recently arrived in Korea after studying abroad in Japan. Jihoon, who was preparing to return to the States, suggested we try a well-known burger place run by a Cornell grad, Smokey's Saloon. Smokey's menu featured edibles such as "Ambulance," "Kiss Me Later," and "Volcano." We ended up at a Dunkin Donuts, which in Korea are more ubiquitous and luxurious than in the US, before calling it a night.

The second time I visited was on a Saturday night with my Filipino friend from the goshitel. He's doing a doctoral fellowship in Korea but, like me, doesn't speak any Korean. Saturday night is apparently when all the Americans come out to Itaewon, as the bars were packed and the streets were full of people speaking in a tongue which was actually intelligible. We met up with some of his Filipino friends to have dinner at a Pakistani restaurant. As a Chinese-American, sitting in that restaurant in the middle of Seoul in the midst of a conversation being conducted in Tagalog as Pakistani music played on the TV overhead, I experienced one of the most surreal moments of my trip thus far.

***

I managed to find out more information about the psycho Korean politician my students have been talking about. His name is Huh Kyung Young, and his outlandish claims include:

-his IQ is 430

-he was a "secret" advisor to former President Park Chung-hee

-he can levitate (which he does by sticking one foot out in the air)

-he can heal arthritis by touching those afflicted

-he met with President Bush, who suggested he become Secretary-General of the UN

-if elected President, Park Chung-hee's daughter would marry him

And his campaign promises? Even better:

-abolish the Korean SAT [no wonder 100,000 Koreans voted for him in the last election]

-to reduce the number of members of Parliament and conduct a mandatory aptitude test for all of them [given the state of the Korean parliament, see above comment]

-to pay newly wed couples about $80,000

-to pay senior citizens about $24,000

-to move the headquarters of the UN into the DMZ

He wouldn't merit any attention but for the fact that 100,000 Koreans voted for him in the last election, and his new rap song has been getting radio airplay.

Huh was put in jail after the last election, for putting out false election promises and defaming Park Chung-hee's daughter. He was just released last month and emerged, he said, having been visited by Michael Jackson's spirit. MJ's spirit encouraged him, a 58-year old man, to release a rap song called "Call Me." The lyrics include:

Look into my eyes

You will be happy

Call "Huh Kyung Young"

You will be healthy

If you shout "Huh Kyung Young" you'll pass your tests

Look into my eyes

You'll lose weight

Gotta love Inspector Gadget. I can't help laughing every time I hear this song. Whether Huh is truly crazy, whether he's trying to start a new cult, or whether he's a genius poking fun at Korean politics is irrelevant- if people around the globe could only hear his song, I have no doubt the world would be a happier place.